office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You're a waste of cheezeits
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
