Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
