wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
