I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
