I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
