Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
