You really coming over, don't trick.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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