I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
