So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
