we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
