He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dick very happy bro
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize