I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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