SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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