I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
