During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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