he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
