Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
