This is not my ceiling
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Your cock deserves a montage
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
