You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
