I looked at my own cervix.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
