Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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