Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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