I think I won the penis lottery.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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