if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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