i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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