wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
