Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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