when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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