I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
