note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I still have a little drunk in my system
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
