Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I didn't notice because vodka
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize