we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
