i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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