I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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