So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
