So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
