Im at strip club and am horny
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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