Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
