Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
