I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
