wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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