Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Boobs are out for the taking
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
