I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
