You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
