he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
