I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
