oh god the rape fog is back!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
