I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
