She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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