I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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