No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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