Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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