So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
