She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm like, not good at living.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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