Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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