Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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