I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
