My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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