i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
How's work?
Spinning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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