I am puke
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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