get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
