If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
