nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she peed on how many people?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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