It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
This is not my ceiling
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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