Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
